Take it or Suck it!

So lately I have been doing some deep thinking, I know it's a scary thought and no smoke alarms went off or anything! Well being where I am in my life at this moment I am very happy. We have gone through some crap over the past few years and everyone handles stress differently so I'm not even going to try and compare to anyone else. But that's just it, I was comparing. I was not happy with my body/weight. I feel like no matter how much I work out I look like a blob! I was told once by someone that I was not a good mother because I chose to put my child on time out for not sharing, so naturally I took a look at my mothering skills and wondered if what I was doing was really screwing up my kids!? I would look at other husbands and wonder why they were so "perfect" and wonderful. I would do all these things that drove me up a wall and made me crazy as well as my husband! I know we are ALL different but so many people have this "keeping up with the Jones" mentality and I think I got caught up in all that. So I have been taking a long hard look at ME.

I am not looking for any kind of pat on the back or "atta girl" from anyone, except myself. But I do workout hard and I may not be as petite as I used to be, but I'M NOT FAT! I have literally had to beat myself stupid to finally understand that. I have always had a spare tire, even when I weighed 98 pounds, it's my family curse. So after two kids did I really think that it was going to magically go away? Because if I did then I could get rich off this crack I'm smoking! Moving on...

I have had to consider what that mean person told me about my parenting and I have come to find out that if we are all being put under a microscope then we all suck! Sometimes we do things not by the book because that's what works for us and our child's personality. No matter how many classes you take on Childhood development or any kind of class your not an expert so keep your nose out of my business and let me do what works for me! So I'm not a bad mother, in fact I'm a pretty darn good mother!

And most importantly when people are in the public eye they always put on their best face. Of course people look perfect on the outside because that's what they want you to see. No matter what you see on the outside, you have NO idea what is going on behind closed doors. After careful evaluation I have looked at my husband, and he is a great guy! He has his faults but he does things for me that not many other husbands do for their wives or families. He is sweet in his own way like hiding notes for me regularly that say the sweetest things. I could not have asked for a harder worker and he dotes over me. It's kinda hard to see those things when your always looking at other's and not what's right in front of you. I am a very lucky woman, my girls are very lucky!

I know who I am now. I have always looked for who I wanted to be and change the inevitable. Why would I want to be a cookie cutter anyway? That's boring and not at all who I am. I have never really done things "by the book" so why start now? This is who I am, take it or suck it! I am a great friend who would do almost anything in my power for my friends. I have a pooch. I have a fantastic husband who I love more than anything. I am a great mother bear who loves my little cubs and would do anything to protect them from vicious people who mean them harm. This is me.